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For you, a thousand times over..

I watch the Kite Runner movie few days back.. I did not expect it to be that good.. I’ve heard it’s about 2 childhood friends.. and one getting out the other friends son from afghanistan.. It sounded like a typical story..
But I was pleasantly surprised.. The plot was amazing.. (not surprising given the fact that it is based on a best-selling book).. the sound track was wonderful..

For me, the phrase “For you, a thousand times over.” relects the main theme of the story..
I see kite runner as a movie that shows an unvonditional love.. for so little in return.. first by Hassan, the friend of Amir.. who loved Amir irrespective of many of his imperfections..

And in the end, the love of Amir, for Hasan’s child, who he adaopts as his own.. who goes for many long miles, for a smile from the child..

I loved the fct that characters were very human..
Especially Amir’s.. He wasn’t a good kid / friend or a person.. he could not stand for what he believes.. or for what he holds dear..
He knew his imperfections.. and he wanted to forget them.. he wanted to distance his friend whose presence was a remider of his weakness.. the childhood.. In the end.. he learns to fight for himself.. by taking the challenge of going back to the past he has tried hard to forget.. 
Amir finally finds the courage to stand up for himself.. probably by clearing his conscience and by gaining the self respect from his own self…

“Now there is a way to be good again..” This was the message that leads Amir to his vaoyage to correct his mistakes.. I personally don’t believe the bads and goods balance out.. and that by doing good later, that you can forget the bad things..
In the movie, I dont think Amir is trying to do good to overcome his guilt.. he rather digs deeper into his bad.. to feel the regrets.. that drives him into good..
At least that’s how I see it.. 

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New year in April..

In Sri Lanka, we celebrate the new year in April.. to be more precise, the Sinhalese and Tamil people in Sri lanka celebrate the new year in April..

These celebrations have way many traditions..
We have specific things to do.. and auspicious times to do those things..
e.g A time to light the hearth for the first time in the new year.. time yo eat, study.. do a monetary transaction..

I am not a big fan of these traditions.. I believe to do something, there should be a better reason than traditions.. You don’t wanna do something coz you did so last year.. or coz most other people are doing it..

But yeah.. traditions serve a bigger purpose than just telling how/what/when things are to be done.. it collects people.. u know.. give them a reason to gather around.. and sometimes.. give them a reason to be happy..

the times are hard here in SL.. high inflation rates.. bomb threats.. life is getting tough for many people.. I personally cant imagine how some people survive the day, let alone celebrate something as new year..
But surprisingly.. most of the did.. and did so in a quite cheerfully..
How could a person who finds it hard to afford to buy the necessities of a regular day, be happy in the new year which demands even more..
I dunno for sure.. but I believe most of the low income people spend their savings on these celebrations.. or take loans or something.. if you think about it, it is a bit irrational.. spending too much on a day when u r not sure about having a meal tomorrow..
how can you be happy today.. knowing that tomorrow is just a sack of problems and worries..

I believe that’s what these traditions do.. they make people happy in that special day..
and you cant blame em too.. the problems are gonna be there anyway.. so, y not have one great day with celebrations..

Anywho.. I am still amazed at the human ability to be happy..

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Trip to hill country..

I belong to a family of four.. Dad, Mom, Sis and Me.. My parents decided to go on a family trip.. just the four of us, for 4 days..
We hadn’t done this in a long while.. going on a few days trip just by the four of us.. I believe the last time we did sucha thing was way back in 2001.. Then my sister had her A/Ls.. 2002, then me in 2004.. then uni exams for sis and me.. mom and dad working.. etc etc. and we never managed to find a 3-4 days free for the whole family..
To tell you the truth, I was not too psyched about the trip.. I love my family .. but when it comes to trips.. friends are considerably more fun..
We headed for Kandy.. then to Peradeniya, Gampola, Dumbara, Mathale.. which pretty much covers a significant area in the hill country…
This was actually a nice 4 days.. I believe we had some quality family time.. and I have to admit, it was more fun than I had hoped for..
You can find the photos here..

http://picasaweb.google.com/mdsoysa/AtKandyWithFamily

http://picasaweb.google.com/mdsoysa/TripToRiversten

I dunno when we’ll be doing this again.. My sis will probably be leaving the country for postgrads towardsthe end of this year.. and dunno where I’ll end up after my graduation..
my sis will probably get married in couple of years time.. and I dunno.. things are not gonna be the same.. this myt be the last trip by just the 5 of us..

it wudnt be the same.. but hey.. it doesn’t meant it is gonna be bad, ryt.. change cud be great..

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Training is over..

My industrial training period came to an end last week.. I spent more than 5 months working as an intern on network security area, with in the affable environment of KBSL.

The last few months have being quite educating.. and fun..
This was my first involvement in fulltime work and it indeed was a huge learning experience..
It is not only in the technical area that I workied in.. but I got so much insight on organizational behaviours.. the relationships of organizational structure, culture and performances..

But as they say.. all good things come to an end.. so, did my training experience.. we had lunch outs.. dinners and several treats as good byes.. They were quite fun indeed..

It is sad that I am not going to meet many of the people I worked with again.. It is not likely that I will join the sasme company again.. and might not be in the same area of work..

It was kind of an interesting fact that many of the folks did not want to mention this fact.. everyone was saying, “ah.. we are going to meet again..” when exchanging the goodbyes..

Yeah, life is a long while.. there is the chance of our paths crossing again.. but to be more realistic, I am not gonna meet 80% of the people… and I dunno why we kept ignoring the realistic situation..

I gues we humans are not that good with goodbyes.. and it’s loads easier and more pleasant to believe that it is not a goodbye..

and hey.. who knows.. it myt as well not be.. :-)

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In to the wild

 

I wacthed this movie “Into the Wild” couple of days back..

Plot
“Into the Wild recounts the life of Christopher McCandless, an actual student-athlete at Emory University, as told by his sympathetic sister. In response to a materialistic, manipulative, and domineering father, McCandless destroys all of his credit cards and identification documents, donates $24,000 (nearly his entire savings) to Oxfam, and sets out on a crosscountry drive in his well-used but reliable economy car towards his ultimate goal: to live alone and off the land in Alaska. Along the way, he loses his automobile to a flash flood, inspiring him to hitchhike his way there after burning the remainder of his dwindling cash supply. Taking an unintentionally circuitous route, he encounters many unconventional individuals on his itinerary as he purposefully trudges onward to his final destination, arriving in the wilds of Alaska nearly two years after his initial departure. He starts living in a “Magic Bus” serving as a shelter for people walking in the area (though in the film there is nobody else). Resourceful, McCandless finds joy in living off the land, and begins to write a book of his adventures. Unfortunately, as the spring thaw arrives, he is cut off from civilization by waterways. As his food supply lessens, he resorts to eating plants. Although he consults a brought-along book about the edibility of plants, he confuses an edible and a poisonous kind, which turns out to be fatal. As he dies, he continues to write, detailing his painful demise as a dramatic denouement to his autobiography.”

The movie is about a guy who leaves the society to go live in the wild.. to live in the moment.. to experience new things.. this is actually many of the things that most of us(well, at least I..) want to do sometime or the other.. I believe we can discover many things, if we are just by ourselves in a remote place.. with no attachments to the external world.. Coz most of the times, our thinking process is disturbed by the external environment.. with other ppl.. with our work.. I believe it would be a great experience just to be by ourselves for some time.. having nothing to do..

Well.. the movie ends with this comment..
Happiness is only real when shared“..
This seemed to be his ultimate realization of Chris before he died..

This reminded me of my cousin who lived near a beautiful water stream.. I loved visiting him coz we have quaity time swimming and enjoying the cool water.. I was surprised to know that he do not come to the spring if there aren’t any visitors like us.. and I found this hard to understand.. surely, the spring is soo much fun.. and had I being living here, half of my days will be spent there.. And it occured to me, the fun of it actually depends on the poeple you are sharing it with..

But I like to believe, as a person who enjoys his rare moments solitude immensely, that not all the happiness need to be sahred to be real.. Most of the times: yeah, may be.. but there are moments that you can be happy by yourself..

I am soo hoping that I would not come to a simillar blated realization after spending time in solitude ;-)

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In to the wilderness..

Meemure is one of the most remote villages of Sri Lanka, situated in the knuckles mountain range. It is famous for it’s natural beauty, and the friendly village culture.

You can get all the details regarding the village from my friend Garthee’s blog..

Me, with 8 other friends headed there during a 3 day holiday we got.
Getting there is not quite is easy and the ride is not the smoothest. You have to walk quite a few KMs coz public transport is not available. But it is all worth it, coz the surroundings are simply breath-taking..

We spent 3 days there.. going along streams.. swimming.. playing cricket.. trekking through the forests… and one time; cooking a meal..:-)
It was really fun.. and the experience is unique.. I cannot think of another place that would offer the blend of environmental beauty with an unmatched ‘village’y flavour..

Its one of the coolest trips I’ve ever being and had the greatest times..

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Observed Sil..

Today was the Duruthu full moon poya day.
For us buddhists, the days that the moon is full are special. We call them ‘Poya’ days..

Our whole family, (mom, dad, sis and me), observed sil today, at the Kalutara Bodhi temple.

When observing sil, we promise ourselves that we will refrain from several things by chanting 8 stanza of pali script that we call ‘8 precepts’.
The precepts goes like this…
1. To refrain from taking life.
2. To refrain from taking that which is not freely given (stealing).
3. To refrain from sexual misconduct (improper sexual behavior).
4. To refrain from lying and deceiving.
5. To refrain from intoxicants which lead to loss of mindfulness.
6. To refrain from eating at the wrong time (by only eat from sunrise to noon, it ensures that all food eaten that day is digested; thus no night time activities).
7. To refrain from all entertainments and using decorative accessories; ie. dancing, using jewelry, watching movies, going to shows, etc.
8. To refrain from using a high, luxurious seats.

And you dedicate the whole day for religous activities and to regulate self and mind.
It is actually a good exercise.. and spending time medicating is always rewarding..

I happened to read a book on Abhi-Dharma today.. which is considered the core part of buddhist philosophy..
In that Lord Buddha has stated that there are 4 componenets that cannot be divided into further.. Only these 4 are really existing, and called ‘Paramartha’.. and all the rest of the world has just a notional existence.

These are Chittha, Chaithasika, Roopa and Nirvana.

Chittha is ‘awareness’.. it is caused by the sensory organs, eye, ear, skin(touch), nose, tongue and mind(imagination).
Chaithasika are other activities mixed with the above ‘awareness’.. They are kind of simillar to the ‘thoughts’.
Roopa is what all the physical objects are made out of.. there are 28 types of roopa.. but only 1 type is visible.. which is called ‘warna dhathuwa (color element)’..
Nirvana is a state of things(mind) without any bad toughts..

I find all this too cmplex to undertand.. let along express in a foreign language like english..
but the above is is the basic idea that I got above the four ‘paramartha’ that the world is made out of.. The Nirvana is the only element that is non-causal.. and hence the only eternal element.. realising that is the ultimate aim of a buddhist.

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When the music stops…

when the music stops..
would we still glide in a dance..
as the echo fades away..
would it abort in an awkward stance..

when the music stops..
would you still have the zest..
the steps are getting heavy..
would you want a good night’s rest..

when the music stops..
would I still know my step..
will the light in your gazing eyes,
be enough to keep the pep..

when the music stops..
would it make a difference..
well, you don’t really care for music..
but I couldn’t bear the silence..

When the music stops..
might go back, take a seat..
or cling tight, in the silence
can we make our own beat..

when the music stops..
it wouldn’t be for the first time..
poems end, giving in to prose..
not every two words rhyme

Madushanka Soysa

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Back with school buds.

I met my old school friends last week. 
There were like 50 buggers from my school batch.. We had sort of a meeting.. a reunion like thing at the school.. It was really nice to meet the old folks again.. We went around the school.. recalled the old stories.. and had a good laugh..

I can’t simply believe that it’s more than 3 years now since we’ve left school. Does time fly or what..? And I still feel very happy that we can still get together like this.. and share things.. like not a day had passed from the last time we’ve met..

After the gathering at the school, me and few other school friends headed to the unawatuna beach in the afternoon. 
It was nice. We played a game of water rugby that we created on the spot.. And trust me, playing games you create on the spot is fun.. And it does help your wining chances.. :-)
Our team won the first few games and I don’t think the fact that Me and another friend of my team created the rules of the game had any say in it.. 

Well, it kinda reduces the competitive advantage when the 

other team gets a hang of the game as well.. but hey, there are always new rules and modificatons you can make.. :D

We all had a nice time.. 
Oh I wish these days would last..

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Too many choices

Last weekend me and a couple of my friends were out to dinner and had a really tough time choosing what to eat. It reminded me few things that came in the book “Paradox of Choice” by Prof Barry Schwartz.

Is having a lot of choices always a good thing..? Well, maybe not always. All of us know what’s good about having lot of choices.. So, what’s bad about it..

We have to make choices every day. It could be something simple like a choice for dinner.. or something important as a career path. The first problem about having many choices is that we spend a really lot of time and other resources in choosing one. And it is never easy to make a decision when the options are many. After all, our brains (at least most of ours’) cannot even add more than 2 numbers at once. So, comparing several options which are good in different aspects is not gonna be a facile task. Plus sometimes the resources spent on deciding are not really worth the outcome of the choice.

Another prob in having too many choices is that the opportunity cost of the choice we are making is going to be relatively high. The opportunity cost in these choices is the good features in other options that we forgo, when we decide on one. In reality, one choice is not going to be better in all aspects than another. So, the good features forgone are going to reduce the satisfaction we get from our choice of action. Imagine yourself making a choice between things to do on a weekend. Options could be studying/working, a game of cricket with friends, a party, a movie, and many more. All these options are having good features, but what if we have to choose only one. No matter what we choose, we are gonna miss the good aspects of the options we did not take. And the satisfaction we going to get from the weekend is going to get subdued by all these other good things that we are not doing.

Our level of expectation goes higher with the number of choices we are getting. Imagine you going out to a pizza place, and the only choices you have are chili chicken and vegetable pizza. Now imagine you having the option to have any topping you want, letting you decide how spicy or cheesy or etc etc you want it. Your expectations are going to be really high in the latter case, now isn’t it? The expectations would rise in such a way that, even a better tasting pizza in the second place would not make you satisfied, sometimes not to the extent even the first place does.

It could be the case that more choices will leave us at a better position. But what we should not forget is that happiness does not result in a rational evaluation of reality. So, sometimes, having to make a decision of a few choices with small expectations would make us happier, than after making the same decision with many options but also high expectations.

Another prob, as Prof Schwartz state in his book is that when we have many alternatives, theburden of responsibility of the decision comes to us. When we don’t have a choice, even though things are not good, we would not feel bad, as we could not have done better anyway. But if we had the choice, and we made a decision that resulted in the current state, we would tend to blame ourselves, and constantly regret the wrong choices we made. Well, isn’t it so much better when someone else has to make all the hard decisions ;-)

Well, I guess these are not actually disadvantages of having many choices, but merely the catch of having freedom to make our own choices. So, the next time you hear an inspirational speech about breaking out of the box and going beyond the limits, think again. Would it be all good?
Take a moment to answer this question.
If you could do anything tomorrow morning (go anywhere, do anything, with anyone etc etc.. no limits, remember), what would you do..?

Ok, stop dreaming now. I bet you thought of a really interesting thing to do, but I believe it wasn’t an easy answer to come up with. Now imagine having to make that kind of decision every morning.

Well, having to go to lectures every morning doesn’t look that bad now, does it.. ;-)
I think limits are important sometimes.. If there were none, it probably wouldn’t be that easy to travel our path of life.

Soo.. I think there could be other catches of having too many choices.. I’m sure you can come up with a few by yoself..

Well, to end this note, here’s a lil advice I read somewhere, for guys when faced with many choices and it is hard to make a decission..
First listen to your, heart…
Then listen to your head…
Then, your wife will tell you what to do…

(No wonder men are happier people :D )

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